We believe certain aspects of spiritual growth happen in community! When we share openly with our groups, we discover support, encouragement, and the opportunity to learn from one another.

But being vulnerable in a small group can be difficult. It may not always feel natural. By approaching our group members with compassion, we lay a strong foundation to build trusting relationships.

At times, group members may disagree. This is our opportunity to listen, grow, and learn from one another. To help build relationships that are strong enough to withstand differing opinions, try these four tips.

Your group may have members from different denominations, theological perspectives, life circumstances, cultures, and more. We believe these differences can bring richness and depth to your group.

Unity is not built by being the same, but by respecting and appreciating the different gifts that each person brings to your group. As the Apostle Paul wrote, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us” (Romans 12:6).  

What could you learn by listening to each other? While another person is speaking, try to focus on understanding their perspective rather than pre-formulating your own response.  

To gain clarity and engage in discussion, helpful responses may be:

• What I hear you saying is [summarize their viewpoint as you understand it]. Is that right?  
• I understand why you believe ______. Have you also considered _____?  
• I know that this is an issue we don’t agree on. Would you be interested in getting coffee with me so I can learn more about your perspective?

Our different personalities and experiences might make it easy to misinterpret another’s behavior. What one person experiences as bold, another may interpret as rude. What one person believes to be helpful advice could feel like criticism to the recipient.  

Knowing this reality, how can we show grace to each other? We can remember that our groups are made up of real people navigating real life. Before assuming the worst, try to consider a situation from their perspective.  

Here are some responses that might help:

• I notice that you seem [emotion] about this topic. Do you want to talk about it?  
• I know that you are trying to _____. It actually makes me feel _____.  
• You seem stressed today when _____. Is there anything you want to share?  

God calls us to bear with one another and to forgive as we have been forgiven (Colossians 3:13). 

If we are faced with differences of opinion or personality, we may want to back away, but it could be a time to lean in and grow together! 

To evaluate the group dynamic, reflect on the expectations your group established when you began meeting:  

• Is the tone of your conversation respectful?  
• Are you giving every group member a chance to speak?  
• Do you respect perspectives that are different from your own?  
• Are you showing grace to others when they offend you? 

Pray for God’s wisdom to help you discern ways to build unity and peace. The wisdom of God is described as pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, impartial, and sincere (James 3:17-18).   

BSF Group Leaders are equipped and prepared to help their members! If you are struggling to share honestly in your group, ask your leader to help identify opportunities to do so. If you are concerned about how another group member is responding, your leader is there to listen and help.

Remember: your group’s goal is to build relationships that lead to a deeper discussion and community. For personal conversations, it may be best to set up a one-on-one meeting with your leader in an environment outside of your regular group meeting.

Building stronger relationships requires each of us to be intentional about the way we approach others. When we seek to view fellow group members the way Christ sees them, we set the tone for better and deeper group discussion.

Whether we are new to the Bible or have studied for years, reading Scripture can be challenging. When we feel limited by our lack of knowledge or are confused by difficult chapters, it helps to remember Bible study basics. At BSF, we know there are many helpful methods for Bible study, but the “read, reflect, respond” approach has guided our members for generations. For a visual guide, use this worksheet.

Pray before reading the passage. Ask God to give you understanding of His person and His Word. Ask Him to strengthen your relationship with Him and to show you how to apply His Word to your life. 

Read the passage in context. As you prepare to jump into a verse or passage, read the surrounding chapters or the entire book before studying smaller portions. Keep this big picture in mind as you study. Understanding the context helps to avoid misapplying the Scriptures.  

Write or record words or phrases that stand out to you as you read. Take particular note of repeated words and words that describe God, His commands, and His promises. Write these down. Take your time with this step. What God’s Word says is more important than our conclusions or opinions about it.  

This requires taking time to prayerfully think. Ask God to help you answer the following as you write or record your thoughts. 

What does the passage teach about God? 

For deeper study: 

• What attributes of God are displayed?  
• What names of God are mentioned and what do they mean? 
• How does this passage point to the person and work of Jesus Christ?

What does the passage teach about people?

For deeper study: 

• What is the experience of each character in the passage? 
• What is occurring in the heart and mind of each character to motivate their actions? 
• What is right or wrong in their relationships with God and others? 
• What does the passage reveal about people and their complete dependence on God?  
• What does the passage reveal about people and their need for a gracious, merciful Savior? 

In this step we take action by praying about, and applying what we learn. By this point, there is usually one message that God continues to bring to your attention.  

Pray as you consider how the passage applies to you personally. 

• Consider how the truths in the passage speak into your current circumstances. 
• Pray the words of the passage back to God.  

Write or record how you plan to apply what the Scripture passage taught you. Some people choose to write a short prayer during this step. 

For particularly challenging passages, pray for wisdom and clarity. If your Bible includes related Scripture references in the margins, footnotes, or a concordance in the back, use those references to guide an even deeper study of God’s Word. When we discover Scripture in context and in its entirety, God reveals life-changing truth one verse at a time.