Does My Past Define Me?
A Story of Faith and Rebuilding
BSF Staff
From the Editorial Team
When Aina heard the gospel for the first time, he felt betrayed. At a Christian camp outside his hometown of Antananarivo, Madagascar, he was suddenly confronted with years of buried pain.
“The man who preached the gospel talked about God as the Father. He introduced God as our Dad, our Daddy, and I didn’t want to hear it. I was so mad. I kept saying, ‘I don’t want that God.’ I was not interested, because the dad I had was terrible. I wanted to say, no thank you. I’m good.”
I kept saying, "I don’t want that God."
But God’s Word pierced Aina’s defenses. After years of being held captive to rage and bitterness, hope began to break through. For the first time, Aina believed that someone could love him.
“I wanted to have a second dad. It was a crucial moment for me. It was not the pastor and not the preaching that touched my heart; it was the Word of God.”
Letting Go of a Broken Past
Aina’s childhood was marked by abuse and heavy responsibility.
“When I was eight years old, I used to wake up at two in the morning to bake all sorts of things to sell. Then at 5 a.m., I would carry heavy bags to sell on the side of the road. After that, I would go to school and just be exhausted. When I would fall asleep in school, my teachers thought I was lazy or stupid. But no one knew how hard my life was at home. I was one of the key people providing for my family.”
“My dad was drunk six days a week and my parents fought constantly. No child should ever have to live like that. I was angry and even my friends were scared of me at times.”
At 19, Aina accepted Christ as his Savior—and everything changed.
“I cried for two days straight. I was just overwhelmed. When I went to spend time with my old friends, I didn’t want to do anything they were doing. I just wanted to learn more about God, so I started reading the Bible.”
That year, he joined BSF.
“For the first time, I felt loved, accepted, and forgiven.”
I realized that I would never get my stolen childhood back. So I released it.
Still, releasing years of hurt was not easy. Bitterness threatened to steal the new joy Aina discovered. Finally, through prayer and God’s Word, Aina found strength to let go.
“I realized that I would never get my stolen childhood back. So I released it. I let my dad go. When you let go of bitterness, it’s for yourself. You give your heart a second chance to recover. And now, it’s like God is telling me that He is my Dad. When I pray, it’s like I’m talking to someone so close to me, like I’m talking to the Dad I always wanted.”
Embracing God’s Call to Build Today
Today, Aina has three daughters who all attend BSF. His wife is a BSF leader, and her father became the earthly father figure Aina prayed for years ago.
But God’s work in Aina extends far beyond his family. The pain that could have kept him from loving others now fuels his compassion.
Aina connects children in abusive situations with safe families. He partners with schools to provide scholarships for kids and young adults who have missed educational opportunities. And when adults wrestle with past wounds, he listens—and helps them reclaim childhood dreams like visiting the beach or learning to ride a bike.
Because Aina discovered that a broken past doesn’t have to define us. Through healing in Christ, we can build lives of faith and share the gospel wherever God calls us.
Adversity is often the very place where God shapes deep faith.
The Bible reminds us that adversity is often the very place where God shapes deep faith. Daniel, torn from his family and carried into exile, could have surrendered to bitterness. Instead, he placed his future in God’s hands. In the face of trials, Daniel remained faithful. God used his obedience to influence kings and impact generations of His people.
For Aina, releasing his past was only the beginning of God’s plan.
“It took a while, but I finally started to ask my dad to share his own story. I started to understand his behavior and to pray for him. It’s still heavy on my heart. I shared the gospel with my dad, and he has yet to be born again. But I have let go of the bitterness. I’m passionate about helping others experience the forgiveness I have discovered in Christ.”
About us
At Bible Study Fellowship, we believe people discover their true purpose and identity by knowing God through His Word. That is why BSF offers in-depth Bible studies in community for people of all ages around the world at no cost. To learn more about Bible Study Fellowship, visit bsfinternational.org.
Ready to study God’s Word in community? Find a group that works for you at joinbsf.com.
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Adversity is often the very place where God shapes deep faith.
Aina’s statement that “adversity is often the very place where God shapes deep faith”
I saw it in Daniel’s defiance statement to King Nebuchadnezzar that the God they served was able to save them. “But even if he does not,” they would not serve the King’s gods or worship his golden image. This is an expression of an unblemished Faith God built in him through the adversities he went through.Thank you for reminding us that adversity is a place God often shapes our faith. May He help us to be bold and brave to face any adversity that will deeper our faith in HIm.
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I was greatly inspired. Thank you for sharing. I am 63 and find myself still struggling with my abusive past as a child. It has been a process, but I have been able to let go of the past and move forward to fulfill God’s goals for me. Yes, I still have my challenges but God had given me the determination to be all that He had called me to be. God bless you.
What an amazing story you have shared with us how God has freed you from a live of bitterness and anger. I really enjoyed your story.
Oh man. I so needed to read this. I’m in tears. A different story and yet there are similar strands that make his story so familiar to me. Really evaluating if I actually am still working through bitterness that I stuffed deeper inside of me than I realized. I just have started bsf, this is going to be my first year and it has really been helpful in realigning with the biblical teachings vs. Worldly ideas and interpretations. Thank you for your story.
Thank you for sharing your story! I’ve been praying for my 98 year old mom to know and trust that her heavenly Father has always been there for her, as He has been for you. I read Psalm 68: 5 to her 3 days ago-
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” I will keep praying that she can let go of the bitterness as you have. Blessings to you Aina.
What a powerful account of God’s loving, compassionate and winsome ways with broken people! Thank you for sharing this with us!
What a powerful account of God’s loving, compassionate and winsome ways with broken people! Thank you for sharing this with us!
Adversity is often the very place where God shapes deep faith!!!
Shared this with my family and the finger of God has written it on my heart ❤️. Thank you for witnessing to the Lords transforming power.
May Jesus Christ be praised!!🎵🎵
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. As I read your story, my heart was breaking and joyful at the same time because we have our Daddy in common :).
My brother and I were abandoned by our dad when we were young. I have forgiven my dad and like you, I surrendered my bitterness to God. However, my brother has not…still praying for him.
May God bless you and your family and your ministry abundantly; and may God give your dad a gift of salvation in our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Hi Aina. Your story is truly encouraging . Speaks much on resilience and spiritual strength we all need at this time in our broken world. I hope to share your story with my husband who grew up without a father, laden with layers upon layers of childhood neglect and abuse
Just like how you’ve allowed our Heavenly Father to lead your life as you surrender your deep-rooted hurts and allowed healing , my husband would also do the same . I believe he will be enriched by your testimony .
His broken past does not define him
Though I may not have experienced such a troubled past as Aina, many in my community would readily identify with him. It would be interesting to share this past and show compassion to them through the word of God.
Praise the Lord! “A broken past does not define us!” Amen!
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so glad that you have been able to step into the love and forgiveness that our Heavenly Father offers to us. What a joy to hear how you have used your own pain and struggles to help others that are walking through their own trials and challenges.
We know that our Heavenly Father does not waste one ounce of our suffering and pain.
To God Be the Glory.
Praise God and thank you for sharing your wonderful testimony Aina.
I too had a troubled childhood .Even as adult faced problems but just like you God helped me to let go hurt by forgiving those who hurt me.Its only possible through Christ.The way the heaviness in our heart is lifted and joy is restored when we humbly obey His command is an amazing experience. Forgiving helped me to become more calm and more focussed on Gods kingdom.Godbless you and use you mightily’
That is a wonderful story that helps us see how other people live and suffer through so much childhood time. And it is a testimony of how God wants to bring us to himself.
It is a blessing to read His story in Aina’s life. I truly agree that God can change our responds to our pasts whatever they are. I can’t change my past but God can help me to respond rightly to my pasts. God also will use my pasts to bless others. Thank you for sharing His wonderful hands in Aina’s life.
How Powerful! Thanks for sharing your story, Aina. There are many i can share your story with whom can relate. I pray as you did, they can feel the love of God and say yes to Jesus. And, have a second chance of being loved by The Father of all fathers.
Thank you for being so transparent & helping us to understand that we CAN be transformed when we seek God in His Word & open ourselves to the Holy Spirit to supply the understanding.
The story of Aina is a reminder that once you receive Jesus as your Saviour you become new creation, transformed in his image and you will never remain the same! Glory to God!
BSF is a wonderful fellowship opportunity to build each other. So nice to learn the word with people from different cultures, age group, social statue, church background etc. God bless this and flourish more
So eternally greatful for new life in CHRIST! I cannot contain my love for my Abba Father!
Thank You, your life is a beacon of hope to those waiting for unsaved loved ones,
Thanks for sharing this personal and penetrating story! We serve a God who rescues and reshapes us. That is the God we want to know and share!
I’m inspired by the story of Aina how he encountered God and how he finally let go of his painful past.i strongly believe that I will also find peace and will be able to heal and forgive myself and all that has added in my painful past and all my sins be forgiven. The load that I’m carrying will be offloaded.I wish to meet with the BSF group as well but I know God will make a way I won’t lose hope.
Thanks for sharing this story of forgiveness and redemption in Aina’s life. God bless him! What a testimony he has and what a beautiful life he is now living! I will say a prayer for his dad to soon be saved from his sins and confess Jesus as Lord!
What a beautiful testimony! Thank you for sharing your story to bring inspiration and change in the lives of those who are blessed enough to read it. You’re doing an amazing job for His Kingdom!
Thanks for BSF. sharing Aina’s Testimony of Aina’s zooming in God’s abundant life is so inspirational.
God hears and answers prayers.
May his dad also receive the gift of salvation in Jesus name.
We all have things in the past that haunt us. You try to push them away but they keep surfacing. At some point you have to acknowledge it and move past it. Remember it is the past and you are in the present. What do you presently want ??? Everyone wants peace, and the only way you can have peace, is to put everything out before God and ask him to help you let go of it. Let go of it, and let God take your life over. Live for God and no one else.
What a rich coming to faith. Aina’s life journey is full of God’s plan for him for His glory! A joy and a blessing to learn of it. I pray now that God will use him for the leading of others to Christ for many years to come.
What a beautiful testimony of God’s love! Praying for our unsaved family members is an exercise in perseverance but God is faithful,He will answer our prayers in His time, not ours.
what a testimony and in time your earthly dad will come to know Jesus and just keep praying and be a constant presence in his life he will see what God has done in your life and He can be working already on your dad;s heart
Am a born again,and am happy for joining BSF
What an amazing testimony and one to share, Aina. May God bless you always!
I can relate to his past. I sold mud pies for a nickel when I was 6 and learned I could make my own way and provide for myself, since my parents were not available. Also, I had a father that abandoned my mother when she was pregnant with me, an adopted father that abused her and myself, and a step-father that was verbally abusive and abandoned us when I was a teen. I LOVE having the love of a steadfast father available to talk to all the time. I LOVE that he cares for me all the time. I LOVE that He left his words for me in a book that I can refer to whenever I need guidance and His spirit will interpret for what I need in my life. I LOVE what Jesus did for us on the cross.
Hello Aina,
Thank you for sharing your story, for being open and vulnerable with your brothers and sisters. You are a blessing indeed, and you reflect so many of the core values BSF endorse – Dependence on God, Passion for Christ, Compassion for people, and excellence, integrity and humility.
Blessings to you brother!
Thank you God for this incredible story that touches any one’s heart.
Forgiveness is easy to say but very hard to do. However, the Bible said that with God, everything is possible. It would be a blessing to be in Aina’s life/story.
Thank you BSF….Thank you Aina…Thank you Lord….now I know God is alive and working in Madagascar. Who would have known.
Beautiful witness/testimony! May God continue to use Aina and others like him, for His Glory and Kingdom.
Communication is the Achilles Heel of humanity. A relationships is defined by the experience of the participant.
What a wonderful and amazing story and testimony.
I can relate to Aina’s story, like him GOD became my Father. The pain tries to surface at times but My Father always pulls me close and protects my heart from past hurts.
I an inspired by Aina’s story in all that he went through and how he has overcome them. I praise and give thanks to our God for all the great things he has done in Aina’s life.
This story touched my heart. My husband struggles with God because he also had a physically abusive earthly father. The image of God as our Heavenly Father is repulsive to him. It took years for my husband to forgive his earthly father. His father appeared to have mellowed and changed. Then his earthly father committed suicide. Now he feels he can’t trust God, and he feels abandoned. I pray there is still hope for my husband through your story. Thank you for sharing.
inspired by Aina’s story
enciuraged to pray for children in abusive family situations
I can relate to Aina’s childhood past. Although I didn’t experience the heavy burden of providing for my family I knew what having a father who drank so heavily felt like. My father had a violent behavior because of the drinking. As an adult I too dwelled on the childhood that was stolen from me. The word of God has taught me like Aina adversity is what creates and matures the faith. The conviction to “let go” is indeed a crucial step in receiving the Father’s forgiveness. Once I was able to forgive my own father for his behavior and the outcome of it I was able to have a healthier relationship with him and a spiritual one with the Father above. Thank you Aina for trusting in the Lord, in being obedient through leading your own family to Him, & in desiring to serve others through your own personal experience.
What a beautiful story of finding the only Father that loves unconditionally and the power of forgiveness. Thank you Aina for sharing this. Blessings!
It’s amazing how God can come into our lives just in time. That was an amazing. I’m glad to have read that Aina was able to forgive and reconcile with his dad even though he didn’t want to accept Jesus as his personal Savior. I’m glad that Aina was able to release the hurt and pain and become a child of the Most High God.
It took me 65 years to feel loved by a father. I felt like my father never loved me. Then I realized that I only needed my father and friend in God. I don’t need to be with a man to be happy.
Aina’s testimony really moved my heart. My situation was my mother was an abusive alcoholic. I wasn’t allowed to have a relationship with my biological father, my mother was married several times, I longed for a father/ daughter relationship. The husband she had the longest watched my mother brutally beating me and never said anything. Through the stitches, broken bones, broken heart, unimaginable fears I knew God was close. We never went to church but I had a longing in my soul for Christ. Many years later I attended a church who thought me to fast and pray – I didn’t know what I was doing – I just cried out to my Heavenly Father for help. I prayed and fasted 3 days until I heard “it is finished” long story short I had to bring my mother to stay with me – during her time with me she gave her life to Jesus! That was in June 2003 – she died November same year. What a Blessing! God is Faithful beyond anything I ever could’ve hoped or imagined. I am praying for you and your earthly father Aina. God’s word doesn’t return void. Blessings Brother!
This was so needed I have a horrible past I’m only now beginning to understand I pray God can help me rekindle lost dreams like aina
This is soo amazing !fantastic testimony
Yes I have experienced God’s grace and guidance and direction when I faced rejection when I needed support the most, but God raised people to support me among my own family. God later took me to where I faced rejection to provide for me and support and help those who rejected me in that same place. Our God is a prayer answering God. Praise be to our Holy God.
May God bless Aina. His story remins us to praise God for all the blessings. We have an omniscient, omnipresent God. “The God who sees me”
Thank you for sharing your story Aina. God pursued you in His great love and showed you a loving Father and is using you to help others know the gift of His grace and salvation.
Thank you for very timely in this season of my life. Thank you for sharing your story
If only people would give God a chance they (as did I) that He is not like the God most religions portray Him to be!
Lord I pray that I will be able to share our loving God to the broken around me! Amen
What a beautiful story which reminding us God rebuild His people by His love through Jesus Christ.
I’m so thankful for all of my BSF Leaders.
What a beautiful story from Aina
It has spoken to my heart
Indeed God restores us
Our past doesn’t need to define us
May the Lord continue to to use him for his glory
Thank you for posting this blog. Although I have been a Christian for many years I too have struggled with misunderstanding and some bitterness. The Lord has given me an opportunity share to Christ with women in the local jail. Sometimes we give the BSF study of the week, sometimes a gospel presentation. I think that all broken people struggle to release bitterness for other’s mistakes, and their own failures. I am grateful for the depth of study I receive in the BSF resources. It feeds my soul, so I can feed others because God’s word is what changes lives. Praise the Lord for his grace and mercy to us all. Thank you so much for sharing.
I love my BSF. It’s brought me closer to Christ and it’s my second year and just the beginning. Praise Jesus! 🙏🏻🕊️
It’s amazing how when we are in our lowest moments that God’s love for us sustain us. We can only contribute our victory to Him. Letting go of the bitterness in our lives brings us closer to God.
What an amazing testimony! God is truly faithful and He will find you when we really feel like all hope is gone and there’s nothing or anyone who can help. Thank God that Alina realized that he was lost
and didn’t know where to turn. God’s love is unconditional.
Enjoy reading the testimonies
Such a good story and lesson from Alina Reading and studying Gods word brings me closer to my relationship with God!
This really hit home with me. I hated my father or rather I was afraid of him. I wanted so very badly to be seen as a loyal and loving child in his eyes. I thank God we were able to reconnect and show our love for each other before his passing. God gave me the grace and forgiving heart to understand his upbringing and challenges he faced before he became my father. I miss him.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony. God is so good. I’m so thankful to be a part of BSF. I’m growing and learning in God’s word and He is restoring my soul!
Aina’s story does remind us of Daniel—exiled yet upheld by God. The God who shut lions’ mouths also heals broken pasts. His love turns pain into faith and witness for generations. So encouraged by this, testimony.
As a young Girl I was sexually abused. By my Father.
I became active sexually.., at age 13. Then pregnant at 15 .
I was told I’d have an abortion .
1969. In Denver. After My babies life was taken. I was devastated.
Ten years later after the birth of my Second child I fell into the pit of POST Partum Psychosis.
I Tried to commit suicide. resulting in
Three patient hospital visits,
The Journey of healing has been
All part of Gods Divine Grace and Mercy.
I know that Now as a 69 year old Woman only Jesus Christ has -is and will make My Life new!
He alone deserves all The Glory’
I became a Teacher and taught 26 years.By His Mercies that are New Every Morning!
My Adult Children are Amazing Parents , And Spouses and so good to their Momma!
I
I am glad that he was able to get past the bitterness and getting to know God so he could reunite with his father and help others that had gone through the same trials.
Our childhood is deeply influenced by how we feel loved or not. My mother one day said, “I sure love you”, sarcasticly. It cut deeply and I took years to forgive her. My miracle is that I have three beautiful daughters that know how much I love them. God’s Word has brought me to freedom from hurt, feeling less than and unloved. His heart of compassion has restored me to love my family and Him with deep gratitude and joy. Psalm 121
I’m thankful Aina accepted God and connected with the BSF family. When you let go and let God it relieves a lot of pain. I know, I’ve been in his shoes. I’m thankful God pulled me through and turned my life around. But God…Won’t He Do It🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾
I am there with you. Even though I was raised in the church, for years I held hurt feelings because my dad left us at an early age. Today I am free from the gut feelings I held against him. I had to let go, and let God.
Beautiful! I wish I could share this with my son.
Please do! You can copy the link or choose from the sharing options on this page.
Thank God for His grace in your life and the testimony you shared.
Thanks for sharing your story. Your life demonstrates how our God regenerates and restores. Praise Him!
Loved his testimony of his journey. I know God will continue to work in his life and the life of his family
Wow! Praise God Who redeems and restores so wonderfully the years that the locusts have eaten.
Thank you, Aina, for sharing and for choosing to allow your heart to respond to God’s calling. I, too, knew the insanity of the abusive alcoholic childhood. No matter how many years go by, how much processing is done or how different we choose to live, only God can release the bitterness and grief. It is insurmountable apart from God. We do have to choose to open our hearts to His care, direction and love. It isn’t easy when care, direction and love had been absent or got tangled up in dysfunctions. God untangles the mess when he meets us where we are. I need to keep choosing and relying on God for healing when I am reminded of the past. I also have to remember what has been given by God is so much greater than what was taken away or missed. Forgiveness is a gift for us that God makes possible.